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October 19 Insecure Negative PeopleLast week I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen for many years. We lost touch when we both married and moved. Excited happy and glad to have bumped into each other again, we took our re-union to the nearest restaurant to chat some more and catch up. Ten minutes into our meet-up, I realized why we hadn’t stayed in touch, why I hadn’t looked her up.
Every other sentence out of her mouth was a complaint or a negative comment. Her husband doesn’t treat her right, her kids don’t call and visit her as much as they should, her doctor doesn’t believe her when she says she’s sick, and on and on and on. Not one good thing spewed forth from her lips.
Twenty minutes later I glanced quickly at my watch, gasped for breath and, excused myself. I had to go. The whole encounter had me on the verge of a major depressive attack. It started me thinking about negative and insecure people.
I find that insecure and/or negative people are extremely needy and miserable people to be around. They are that way for a lot of reasons. Many insecure people may have been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable or volatile environment in which they were kept off balance, on guard or on edge. Some turn inward, becoming self-obsessed – “It’s all about me.” They typically have unrealistic expectations and sometimes unconsciously overcompensate for their poor self-image by thinking they're better than other people.
Negative/insecure people will often insult or bully others to make themselves feel better. They tend to be very defensive and cannot handle criticism. They usually find scapegoats for their problems, never realizing that they are causing the problems themselves. Also, they tend to point out the shortcomings of others, even if untrue, in order to cover up for their own perceived inadequacies.
In the end I concluded that “Not all insecure people are haters, but all haters are insecure people.”
What do you think happens to make them that way? Can anything be done for them? Do you know any negative or insecure people? How do you handle it/them? October 05 Bit-mo' & the Man in the Moon
There was an old saying that started with, "He don't bit-mo"... and, it ended with, "than a man in the moon!" The saying had words between bit-mo and the man in the moon. Sometimes a few, sometimes more. But, the meaning was unmistakable. I didn't wonder about that old saying back then, never thought much about its origin, that is...until lately. A few months ago mister papa dellgirl began to tell me his plans for completing a project that has been in the works for a long while. I listened patiently, nodded appropriately, grunted or sighed whichever response his confused ramblings elicited from my flabbergasted brain. He had it all planned out down to the last detail, every meandering syllable. Oh, LAWDY! When he finished, I reiterated; just to be sure he knew that I heard and understood him. He nodded in agreement as I did my reiterating. Whereby upon concluding my reiteration I asked sweetly, "What are we going to do with X if we do it that way, Honey?" You would have thought I hit him up side the head. His impatience with my inability to see his logic beamed through loud and clear. "Dang, dellgirl. You sure do know how to make it hard for me, you didn't listen to a word I said." Then it dawned on me. "He don't bit-mo know what he's doing than the man in the moon! I've revisited "Bit mo' and the man in the moon" several more times since papa's and my conversation. I find that a good many people "don't bit-mo' know what they're doing or saying than a man in the moon!" © 2009 by Leona G. Shankle October 01 Dinner & a Movie
Saturday September 19th:
The shrill sound of the phone interrupts my concentration, on the
adorable commercial about the talking pot-hole. Dang, I love that
commercial! Baby son on the phone, I have to take this. I love hearing
from that kid. He promised earlier in the week to pick me up and take
me to his house.  "Hey, ma. How are you, what are you doing?" "Hey, yourself kiddo. I'm fine, not doing a thing. Just watching this cute little commercial. What's up?" "I'll pick up in an hour if you're ready." He said. I smile and respond, "I'm ready, see you in an hour." Forty-five minutes later he rings the doorbell and I grab my purse and head for the door. The short trip to his house is shorter than usual as we chat, joke,and laugh the whole way. At his house, he opens the door to let me in while he gathers his packages from the car. I busy myself by looking around while he puts away his things. We finish at the same time and settle down to visit for a bit and talk some more. "Ma, have you ever had shrimp tacos before?" he asked, springing to his feet. "Ummm, don't think I have, why?" I questioned. He's halfway to the kitchen before I finish answering, I follow wondering what he's up to. He removes foods from the fridge, places it on the counter and begins to prepare our dinner. While the shrimp boils, he chops and shreds lettuce, tomatoes, and onion. We talk a mile-a-minute as he works and in no time everything is ready. We take our food to eat and watch Twilight Zone movies. Naturally, we miss most of the movie - talking. Wow, the shrimp tacos are really delicious, very tasty! They are also rather filling, just one has me as-full-as-a-tick. Now that we're full we get quiet to watch a little of the movie. Too much stillness and quietness has us both nodding and dozing so I suggest that he can take me home whenever he's ready. That way he can get back home himself and get some much-needed rest. What a suprisingly wonderful way to spend a Saturday afternoon - making memories. Life doesn't get much better than this. September 25 An Unplanned Absence Last week didn’t go quite the way I’d planned. It wasn’t the kick back and relax, blog hopping comment leaving week I had envisioned. It’s been a see-saw of nerve-tingling chaos and sleep provoking quiet around here. It has also been a gorgeously beautiful week; sunny, with mild temperatures mostly - - a very nice week indeed.
I’ve been on an unplanned break from blogging writing and everything else computer related. It’s good to be back but, the question is, what do I do after this unplanned absence? Update blogs and sites, visit friends’ blogs and chat with them? Write something profound? What? I have no idea. Let’s hope I am not 50 miles behind like I was last time an unplanned break waylaid me. But then, what can I expect? Okay, I’m behind. I’ll either catch up or I won’t.
I have no desire to “THINK” right now so I might need to continue this break for several more days - - to get my mind back into it. Since I've been offline most of the week, I am starting to feel like I might never get the urge to blog again.
What a nice way to close out the week. I’m really looking forward to a more mellow and peaceful weekend ahead.
Okay, enough moaning and groaning! I have a lot of visiting and catching up to do.Keep the porch light on, I'm coming. September 18 Up At the Crack of Dawn! That's 7:00am dellgirl-Texas time; crack-of-dawn somewhere. I grab my trusty old broom and dustpan and, get busy sweeping out trash and debris. Be sure to get behind that chair and under the desk really "good". Make the room sparkle and shine brightly for this glorious new sunshiny day.A smooth flowing fine-point writing pen is my broom and a pretty new fabric-covered journal is my dustpan. The pen records the jumbled clutter that infests the corners of my sleep-filled mind. The journal, my dustpan, holds the brain-garbage I want to dump. Ummmm...maybe the journal is a trash can instead of a dustpan.
Okay, okay! So, what is the purpose of these early morning journaling exercises? The purpose is to help me learn some things about myself. What exactly is it I am supposed to learn about myself by journaling at ridiculously early hours of the morning, when I could be sleeping?
Well, I will learn what I like and what I don't like.
I started this so, I will continue with it. It certainly can't hurt, except to cause me to loose some sleep. What about you, do you journal? What do you think of the concept? Does it clear your mind of clutter? Does it help uncover anything you did not know on a conscious level? Does it open you up for greater creativity? September 15 Name Your Poison This is the result of taking medications to: lower cholesterol, ease sinus congestion, lose weight, get rid of allergies, overcome insomnia, etc. And the latest, I saw tonight for the first time, to grow longer prettier eye lashes. To be fair though, they do warn us about possible side effects. They clearly state that some side effects have been reported. Those side effects include unexplained muscle pain or weakness, diarrhea, joint pains, and tiredness. And, that's what they DO tell you. The fine print goes into more detail, things they don't tell you. It reads, "Additionally, the following side effects have been reported in general use: allergic reactions (which may require treatment right away) including swelling of the face, lips, tongue, and/or throat that may cause difficulty in breathing or swallowing, rash, and hives; joint pain; muscle aches; alterations in some laboratory blood tests; liver problems; inflammation of the pancreas; nausea; dizziness; tingling sensation; depression; gallstones; inflammation of the gallbladder. It further states: "Tell your doctor if you are having any of these or any other medical problems while taking this medication. For a "complete" list of side effects, ask your doctor or pharmacist." Go figure. Now, I've got to go take my h/bp meds. Without a doubt, some of these are a necessary evil, what can we do? What about you? How far are you willing to go when it comes to taking prescription medications? Where will you draw the line? September 10 Music: My Passion My Love
Have you ever had a tune stuck in your head that won’t go away? How can I explain it? Music is my love and my life; it is the heart of my soul. It is a manifestation of where I’ve come from, of where I am at any given moment in time. Music is what I live for, it is an experience. Music is a growth; it’s energizing, exciting, expressive and, dramatic. Good music makes my insides flutter with excitement. My head moves up down and sideways rhythmically, shoulders sway back and forth to the tune. My feet go tap, tap, tap, to the beat with a mind-of-their-own. Soon I’m up moving twirling swirling and dancing around the room like a child on Christmas morning.
Music is like an antidote, it helps reduce stress, it is what I can depend on when many things in life are not trustworthy. Music is my sanity and my passion; a way to escape the physical world and express ideas and emotions. Music is a link to my dreams which helps me to relax, visualize and create. Music is love, devotion, precise, discipline, and adoration and it brings me closer to God. © 2009 by Leona G. Shankle September 03 I'll Always Remember The 3rd Of September
Last year I posted the following. I am re-posting it in its entirety -- just because. ____________________________________________ I'll Always Remember the 3rd Of September "It was the third of September. That day I'll always remember, yes I will. 'Cause that was the day that my daddy died." "That is as far as the similarities of Daddy and the lyrics of the song go. Beyond that, nothing else in the song applies. The music is - the hook. September 3, 1988 was the day my daddy died. The phone rang about 9 p.m. and a family friend informed me that Daddy was "gone". Not understanding or not wanting to understand, I question, "Gone? Gone where?" She answers, "Your mom asked me to call and tell you that your daddy passed away. He's gone." Suddenly a dark cloud covers me like a blanket. I can't cry like I want to. My nine year old is right here, I have to keep it all together for him. Hubby hovers characteristically close, waiting for my reaction. He asks if I'm okay or if I want to go outside with him. "I'm okay," I reassure him. The older two kids are at a football game. Jordyn is a cheerleader, oldest son is on the team. I want to go home - now -but, I have to wait for the kids to get here. I excuse myself with "I need to go and pack so everything will be ready." In the privacy of the bedroom my tears flow unchecked, but only momentarily, the baby is at the door wanting in. I quickly dry my tears shake myself together and get on with the business of packing. With a million and one thoughts crowding my numb brain, I silently occupy my self and wait. Finally, the older kids are home, hubby has the car packed and I gather them around to tell them about Papa. They react as expected, tearfully, grief-stricken and full of questions. Among explanations and reassurances I head them toward the car for the long painful ride home. All is quiet in the backseat after a few miles and I am thankful for the darkness that conceals the anguish that now consumes me. The journey through the thick East Texas woods is quiet, the silence broken only occasionally by a question from hubby about how I am doing. We arrive at Mama's about 2 or 2:30 a.m. Rousing the kids from their sleep we gather our luggage and start for the front door, for the beginning of a life without Daddy. At the steps I stifle the threatening tears, catch my breath, grit my teeth and prepare to go inside. I have no idea what lies ahead or what it is like to lose someone this close. I do know that a special light has gone out, a era has come and gone. And with it, the love of my life - my daddy.* * * * * * * * * * Today, September 3, 2009 I am left with Daddy's . . ."Legacy of Love". © 2008 by Leona G. Shankle - All Rights Reserved ▪ Dell Girl Publishing August 28 InspirationSharing Poetry - Inspiration To all the wonderful people in my life:
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person...
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for a reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Sometimes people come to your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. BELIEVE it, it is REAL. But; only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime. August 23 Happiness Is...Happiness is Sunday morning church with loved ones. It is a journey, not a destination. Happiness is a choice. It is grabbing all the gusto you can get from life.
Happiness is sometimes strange in that it varies with time, experience and wisdom. Happiness is in giving something to someone, although you still need it. There is happiness in braving life’s storms.
Happiness is warm, yes it is. It comes from within us, welling from the depths of our souls.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. It's smiling at a stranger as you pass by, and having them smile back.
Happiness is saying 'Yes' to life and 'Thank you' and 'I accept everything’. Happiness is living as large as we can and saying, 'I'm so lucky to participate in this experience.
How we react to the changes of fortune often determines our happiness. When we are willing to let go of how we need to influence the outcome, to make things happen, and instead learn to enjoy the process and gifts we receive along the way, we can find happiness.
Happiness is being off on a lazy Sunday afternoon thinking back over the work-week, basking in the warm glow of time well spent with family, and giving thanks to God for His many blessings.
Make a grab for that golden ring of happiness. Try it, and happiness will find you.
© 2009 by Leona G. Shankle August 18 Staying Positive in a Negative World
Have you ever encountered a person who does nothing but whine and complain, about any thing and everything? I did, a few months ago and it came back to mind when the person’s name came up in a conversation with another friend.
The last conversation immediately reminded me that we need to preserve our positive outlook on life. We need to guard it as sacred. What's interesting is that it requires the same effort to dwell on positive, uplifting and inspiring things, as it does to think about negative things. The challenge, and the hard part for many of us, is to develop the discipline to focus on the positives until it becomes habit.
I can't explain the effect staying positive has had on me, but I promise being in a positive environment yields positive results. It is also better for blood pressure, knots in the stomach, and many other physical maladies. I work hard to hold on to a positive attitude and succeed most of the time. Now I need to work on being a bit more positive ALL the time.
There’s this recent research that when people are too positive, they’re not believed, and it backfires. We all know it's easier to find the bright side when you start with something positive than it is when starting with something negative.
The flipside of the coin is that it seems most people have a negative view of the world. Why would we knowingly fill our mind with other people's negative stuff? It is a perfect recipe for pain. Whether one believes it or not, it is true -- staying with negative people can really affect you mentally.
I think because so many people are used to complaining and not doing anything about it that they are just negative in general, they don't know how to handle compliments, happy people or nice things being said about them or anybody else.
We can start to take control of the negative in our lives by limiting our exposure to pessimistic people and negative reports. It is empowering to stay away from both negative news and people. While we can't totally avoid negative people and negative actions, we CAN limit our exposure to them and consciously choose to not let it affect us. It might take some work on our part but, it is worth the effort.
I find that by not constantly listening to the news or reading depressing news stories, I don't think about or dwell on negative happenings very much. That helps so that when there are situations I cannot control but I have to deal with, I am not already overloaded with negative stuff.
What are your thoughts on “accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative”? What do you do to stay positive? What do you do when you encounter extremely negative people? I’d love to hear your comments or views if you are inclined to share them.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy! August 09 Stress Less Most of us are probably coping with some level of stress and we need to learn how to relieve it. Effective stress-relief techniques focus on relaxing your mind and your body. For starters, we can relieve a lot of stress from our lives by dumping limiting beliefs - - those things you believe about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. Limiting beliefs can be difficult to change because we often don’t realize they exist but, they can easily be overcome with desire and determination. It is imperative to first identify them and how they have served you in the past so you don’t beat yourself up for having had them. Limiting beliefs almost always begin with “I can’t because…” Examples include “I can’t find a good job because I never went to college, diets don't work for me, I don't have time to exercise, or my company isn't giving pay raises this year.” Can you really get beyond your limiting beliefs? Fortunately, yes. It is possible to get rid of these beliefs and replace them with more positive ones but, you first need to identify your limiting beliefs. Then to change limiting beliefs, you will need to break the thoughts that reinforce your belief that you are unable to do something. Is it possible to relieve stress? Yes. Before we go on, if your level of stress is serious, consult your physician. But, if you think you can take charge of your stress, here are a few things that can help. - Learn to have a sense of humor - Try yoga: no legs behind the neck here - Aroma therapy works wonders - Exercise for 30 minutes - Lift weights but don’t go overboard - Take a walk in the fresh air - Try dance and creative movement - Chocolate, eat it in moderation though or open a candy bar and just smell it - Relaxation & deep breathing exercises provide immediate relief - Take a six minute vacation - Communicate: talking with friends, family, a counselor, or a member of the clergy about your feelings is a healthy way to relieve stress - Set more realistic goals: for yourself and others - Develop a hobby: fishing, knitting, photography, woodworking, anything. Do something fun with your hands Find your inner peace - - learn how to relieve your stress by finding what works best for you. Let us know your favorite ways to de-stress. My personal favorite is prayer & meditation which is not listed because it is a whole 'nother blog by itself. August 07 Swagbucks
It’s Swagbucks. Swagbucks is a site that is a must have, not only because it's 100% FREE, it is also the easiest way to get great free stuff like video game consoles, music, ipods, electronics, DVD's, and much more. SwagBucks is a search engine powered by Google and Ask that offers you the chance to win cool prizes every time you search using “swagbucks.com”. Now they are making it even easier with the SwagBucks widget. Swagbucks is free to join and I highly recommend them. It is a great way to earn some prizes. The best part is, you can even trade the rewards for CASH to do whatever you want with it. Yes, you heard right - - CASH! SwagBucks now offers Cash via Paypal. Swagbucks is one of my favorite part time money makers. SwagBucks sign up is easy and painless. Users begin by signing up for an account. They start you off with 3 “Swagbucks” just for signing up. Be aware, though, there are several rules that if not followed can get your account closed. You won’t get rich but, it sure is fun to get paid for doing something you do all the time anyway…searching the internet. It's real. They pay. You should check it out. So, sign-up and start searching with “swagbucks”. If you would be so kind as to use my "Referral Code" I'd appreciate it. And, it will tell them I sent you, and when you earn and win, I win also. Then, you can invite your friends and you will win when they win. It’s all “Win-Win”-Everybody wins. Click here to sign up. - -> - - > http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/dellgirl You’ll love it! July 31 It's OK to QuitThings you can quit -- RIGHT NOW
JUST QUIT IT ... and START DOING something to create the experience you want!
LIVE YOUR LIFE! July 30 Non-Productive Thursday......and, Wednesday and Tuesday and Monday too. It's one of those times, not much is going well or right.
Where has this day gone? I didn't sleep late, didn't dawdle my time away. But, I can't see one single solitary thing I accomplished today in the "being productive" department. Oh well, as the young folks say..."Whatever".
Oh! I did write that protest letter "the Mister" said we needed about the too high property appraisal. I labeled the photos I took the other day that shows why their appraisal is too high and got it ready to mail tomorrow. Arrrggghhh!
One thing's for sure, this won't be what he wants, not what he would would write at all. We talk AND write differently. He wants me to write like he talks and I can't. I know how he thinks, but I can't write like that. He mumbles his his thoughts about what should be said, then he's off to the races -- trying to work to keep a roof over our heads, pay the bills, and food in our bellies...no time for all those blank blank details he says. Oh well, I'm left with the final say so I'll do some me and some him.
What else did I do? Ummmmm...not much. Trying to collect myself and figure out which way is actually UP!
I've been aroound to visit a few cyber friends, I still have more left. I will see you soon if I have not already been by your place. Doing that will take the edge off nasty tasting things like bill paying time and dealing with a bunch of idiots and such. UUgggggghh!
Okay, didn't mean to vent at'cha like that (it's some of why I haven't been able to blog for a while) BUT, there it is!
Tell me something good, I could really go for a laugh right about now! Who's done something that turned out funny to the bone? come on, I know you have. Tell me. what have you been doing? July 23 Popcorn Anyone?
Here I was, progressing nicely, making the rounds visiting all of you, reading your blogs, commenting and just generally having a grand old time. I thought I'd be able to visit everyone in one sitting, well not counting going back and forth eating, getting cold drinks and such. To help keep my bottom glued to the chair so I could get more done, I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave.
As I emptied it into a bowl, it struck me...popcorn is just not the same anymore. Too danged many husks, have to stop every few seconds and pick husks off my tongue or from under my tongue... always a mouth full of husks. Takes away from the "joy of eating popcorn". It wasn't always like this. Or, was it? Is it just me? Popcorn didn't use to have all these irritating husks. Did I used to just swallow the stupid husks and move on? Or what?!
I just know it's as irritating as the dickens! Anybody else like popcorn like me? I have always loved it, now I wonder if it's worth the hassle. July 17 Mike T... Phone HomeI was sorting through my email this week, trying to get it organized and decluttered. I found this message from me to baby son who was making himself a new habit of going for too many days without letting me hear from him. I worried and fretted and imagined all kinds of tragedies. To make matters worse, he had not given me a key to his place like I told him. Guess he didn't want me popping in unannounced.
You know how you read about people being found dead in their homes and nobody has seen or heard from them for weeks. I imagined just that and, me with no key to get into his place was simply the last straw. I shook myself really hard, gave myself a good talking to and whipped him up the following email:
Baby son, love of my life...
If I haven't heard from you by 6 pm today...
I'm bringing a chainsaw over there and cutting down your garage door, might even call the highway patrol and put out an A.P.B. on you... and see why I haven't heard from you!!!!!! An email "FORWARD" will do just fine. (((Love & Hugs))) Your Mama There, now that feels better! Needless to say, he called and I got an email forward from him at work early the next morning. We have a new ritual now. When he leaves here after a visit on Sunday afternoon, I walk out to the drive-way with him and my parting words are... ..."Wednesday, baby boy! Wednesday" He chuckles flashing me that big beautiful grin of his and says, "By Wednesday, Ma. For sure, by Wednesday." July 15 "Guest Interview" with Leona G Shankle
My first ever interview was a smashing success. Cynde has done an amazing job of conducting the interview with this "nervous Delly", can't remember the last time my nerves twisted and tied themselves in a bunch like this.
Come on over to Cyndes Got the Write Stuff and join us. We'd love to see you there.
PLEASE leave comments, we love those! July 12 Happy Anniversary Happy Anniversary To Me and Papa DellGirl! July 12, 1969 - July 12, 2009 ~ ~ ~ It's an old story [inject a chuckle], old friends read it last year. We started 1st grade together in our little country town. I didn't know him from a hole in the ground. We got better acquainted in 2nd grade as he was a mischievious little dickens. Fun, but devilish as all "git-out". He and a friend chased me home one day after school... New friends can read it here. July 08 The Senility Prayer |
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