Last week I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen for many years. We lost touch when we both married and moved. Excited happy and glad to have bumped into each other again, we took our re-union to the nearest restaurant to chat some more and catch up. Ten minutes into our meet-up, I realized why we hadn’t stayed in touch, why I hadn’t looked her up.

Every other sentence out of her mouth was a complaint or a negative comment. Her husband doesn’t treat her right, her kids don’t call and visit her as much as they should, her doctor doesn’t believe her when she says she’s sick, and on and on and on. Not one good thing spewed forth from her lips.

Twenty minutes later I glanced quickly at my watch, gasped for breath and, excused myself. I had to go. The whole encounter had me on the verge of a major depressive attack. It started me thinking about negative and insecure people.

I find that insecure and/or negative people are extremely needy and miserable people to be around. They are that way for a lot of reasons. Many insecure people may have been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable or volatile environment in which they were kept off balance, on guard or on edge. Some turn inward, becoming self-obsessed – “It’s all about me.” They typically have unrealistic expectations and sometimes unconsciously overcompensate for their poor self-image by thinking they're better than other people.

Negative/insecure people will often insult or bully others to make themselves feel better.  They tend to be very defensive and cannot handle criticism. They usually find scapegoats for their problems, never realizing that they are causing the problems themselves. Also, they tend to point out the shortcomings of others, even if untrue, in order to cover up for their own perceived inadequacies. 

In the end I concluded that “Not all insecure people are haters, but all haters are insecure people.” 

What do you think happens to make them that way? Can anything be done for them? Do you know any negative or insecure people? How do you handle it/them?